Words

Lord, I know it’s not true but then why does it hurt so bad. The negative words spit like poison have left a stain on my soul that I don’t know if I will ever be able to get rid of. It hurts I can still feel the words barreling into my pours burning going in and trying to release them out. Why can I still hear them when they are no longer being spoken. How can I still feel them biting my confidence and assurance as a royal son when they don’t physically have teeth. This hurts and my heart hurts it’s like I keep playing what she said like a scratched cd. How was it so obvious for her to reach and grab my most vulnerable places and put them on public display as if she could read the condition of my soul. In my head I kept asking was anyone going to stop this abuse? Was anyone going to help Me at this public lynching and whipping or is it my fault for not being the ideal nigga. You know, the one that is smart but not smart enough to think on his own. The one that’s articulate but not is able to stand and advocate for himself and those who he loves? How was I suppose to know the rules and conditions of my Freedom and access to education? I want to scream and curse and ask myself why did I sit there like a bump on a log and drink the poison that was being spat at me. Why didn’t I fight for myself? Why didn’t I stand up? Because I thought they would just be empty words.